Do’s and Don’ts of communication with someone diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease

Do’s and Don’ts of communication with someone diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease

After working for 3 years with Alzheimer’s patients I ended up summarizing a list for making better relationships with these groups of people. The first thing I want to highlight is that when you have someone with Alzheimer’s and you realize that they have memory impairments remember that you can’t control their memory loss. However n this condition, your reaction plays an important role and can change the whole situation in a better way.

For people with Alzheimer’s disease, their main disability is memory loss. When you ask them to remember something is like asking a blind person to see. (For example, the most common questions like “Did you take your pills?” or “What did you do today?” are the equivalent of asking them to remember something.)

In this case, having expectations from them to be reasonable or to accept your conclusion is unrealistic. Things will go even more severe if you don’t change your perception of their diagnosis.

Don’t correct

Don’t contradict

Don’t blame

Don’t’ insist.

People living with Alzheimer’s say and do normal things for someone with memory impairment. Stop and think—these people really do have the disease, and that's Alzheimer's disease. If they were deliberately trying to drive you mad, they'd have a different diagnosis. For this reason, always forgive them… always.

Here are some basic Do’s when it comes to communication with someone with Alzheimer’s disease:

• Give short, one sentence explanations.
• Allow plenty of time for comprehension, and then triple it.
• Repeat instructions or sentences exactly the same way.
• Avoid insistence. Try again later.
• Agree with them or distract them to a different subject or activity.
• Accept the blame when something’s wrong (even if it’s fantasy).
• Leave the room, if necessary, to avoid confrontations.
• Respond to the feelings rather than the words.
• Be patient and cheerful and reassuring. Do go with the flow.
• Practice 100% forgiveness. Memory loss progresses daily.

Here are some Don’ts when it comes to communication with someone with Alzheimer’s disease:

• Don’t reason.
• Don’t argue.
• Don’t confront.
• Don’t remind them they forget.
• Don’t question recent memory.
• Don’t take it personally.